THIS IS GENIUS!

I just found this website that made my day. It's wonderful, seriously, I'm so happy.
The place is called "A Crusty and His Music." A bunch of free MP3's for download of all these great punk bands...ah, happinesss. Did I mention it was FREE?!
If you don't like punk, then you are probably will have no inerest in this website, but if you do, this is genius!
Anway....
A Crusty And His Music.
Give this guy a hand, seriously.

This Is Not A Substance, This Is The Effects of Insomnia.

I am, unbearably, unexplainably, surrealistically, insane.
Nothing is making sense right now, but the ironic thing is that it's only because things are starting to make sense. But I'm cracking under the attacks of insanity that have been plaguing me for the last couple days. Everything that I don't want to think about has been coming into sharp focus like a camera zooming in on the wrong thing. Everything is too quiet. When it gets this quiet I can start to hear my mind scream, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"
I am a bug. But I'm not. I have found my self in such a place that I'm doing nothing but floating in and out of twisted lunacies that only a deranged thing like my mind could produce or understand. Things that seemed like huge, ominous problems hours ago are now simply trivial little matters that zoom around and bounce of the walls of my brain like flies that no one really cares about enough to swat. I have no problems. The only problem is that I seem to be living in an entireley different existance than every one else. Perhaps I am going crazy. That would be a logical answer. Logic, however, seeems to get you no where in my little realm of thinking.
QUESTIONS! SO MANY QUESTIONS!
The moon is pouring through my blinds, painting little stripes on my hands. The rain is coming and it's so quiet. SO QUIET! Why are these people sleeping when there are so many things that make no sense? I want to run outside in the rain and scream. "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?" I ask. "DO YOU EVEN EXIST?"
Voices outside my house. It gives me the chills. To know that there is simple existance with no questions walking past my doors. I don't know those people. I probably will not, ever. They could be dead now. I wouldn't know even if their little dead faces were pressed up against my window staring at me with blank eyes, because I'm not looking.
I am a bug. but I'm not. What am I? I think I used to know.
It's to quiet. I feel as if I am in a giant chess game and I have now idea what peice I am.
Insomnia. So beautifully efficent in creating insanity. The night is cold and cruel and beautiful. I want to drink it, to drink this blackness surrounding me and taste it's richness. Perhaps it will give me answers. But I will not, not tonight because there is still more to do here on this little flat planet with the skies so big. This place is so massive but I still don't know if it's only my imagination. Maybe someday, as I lie here staring upwards, I will no longer be a feather, stuck to this heavy little place. Maybe I will fall effortlessly into the sky and past the heavens, and fall so gently, like the feather, past the rims of existance its self where I will see the answers from far away and smile. I will float past night and day and feel the night flow under my fingers.
I am a bug.
Because I don't know what I am.

A Victory!

I wrote this little paragraph the other day, not really expecting to do anything with it, but lo and behold! It got published in my tiny town's newspaper! YAY!

"The No Child Left Behind Act causes many a different reaction in people. Some positive, some negative, but both usually referring to education. As a student in the public school system, I find that this valiantly named federal law affects me directly and it is important that I take an interest in it. So upon finding this little detail, I'm wondering, "What does this have to do with helping my education?"
Section 9528 of the Act, snuggled between, "Prohibitions On Federal Government And Use of Federal Funds" and, "Prohibition On Federally Sponsered Testing" is something kind of weird.
"Armed Forces Recruiter Access To Students and Student Recruiter Information." This is a little catch that basically says that my school, because it is federally funded, is required to give military recruiters my private information for recruiting purposes. I find this both irritating and unecessary to improving my learning. My first thought, admittedly, was, "That was sneaky."
However, then, I found the fine print, so to speak. "(2) CONSENT." If my parents and I choose to opt out of this bizarre bit of the Act, all I have to do is have them sign a form saying that they wouldn't really like my information to be handed off randomly, and the school has to have their consent before giving a recruiter my number. So I did. I Opted Out. I like my rights just fine, thanks."

HAHAHAHA! Success! Sort of...

Just Skip This Because It Is Annoying...

Name: Rebeka or Beka
Birthdate: Sept. 8
Birthplace: New Mexico
Current Location: Las Cruces, Nuevo Mexico.
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: That's an interesting question.
Height: five foot six
Piercings: Are neat.
Tattoos: Are even more neat.
Overused Phrase: "Fabulous"
FAVORITES
Food: Persian Food. Or Seafood.
Candy: Candy gets gross too fast to pick a favorite.
Number: 6
Color: Red
Animal: Lions or Foxes.
Drink: Ajava Coffee.
Bagel: I didn't even know there was that much variety in bagels, I thought they were just a pastry.
Letter: K. V. R. N. S. L. Nevermind, I love letters to much to pick a favorite.
Body Part on Opposite sex: Mind
This or That.
Pepsi or Coke: Coca Cola, one hundred percent.
McDonalds or BurgerKing: They're both kind of gross.
Strawberry or Watermelon: Watermelon
Hot tea or Ice tea: Iced for hanging out, hot for talking.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: Coffee.
Kiss or Hug: Well, obviously it depends on the person in question.
Rap or Punk: I like artists from both genres. And any other genre you can think of.
Summer or Winter: Summer temperature and Winter atmosphere.
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: Movies that are so funny they're scary. Or zombie movies, zombie movies are amazing.
Love or Money: Hm. I guess love.
YOUR...
Bedtime: Who the hell has a bed time?
Most Missed Memory: Doing something other than this.
Best phyiscal feature: "My Fist To Your Nose."
First Thought Waking Up: I'm a woman, meaning I don't have the same thought every morning.
Goal for this year: Not suck.
Best Friends: Keep them close.
Weakness: Attractive men in aviators, musicians, secretly being kind of annoyed all the time.
Fears: How the U.S. Economy is going to look in 2 years if this war keeps going on...and seaweed.
Heritage: Half Hillbilly, Half Mexican
Longest relationship: Long.
HAVE YOU...
Ever beaten someone up: Only really good friends that fight back for fun.
Ever Shoplifted: Never really wanted to.
Ever Skinny Dipped: Damn Straight I have.
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: Of course.
Been Dumped Lately: Nope.
IN A GUY/GIRL
Favorite Eye Color: Blue
Favorite Hair Color: Auburn hair is fucking awesome.
Short or Long: Depends on what suits them.
Height: I don't really care.
Style: People are people, and they fall in to "idiot" and "non-idiot". Deciding you have a "style" immediatley puts you into "idiot"
Looks or Personality: A good combination of the two.
Hot or Cute: Hot....
Drugs and Alcohol: No.
Muscular or Really Skinny: REAAAALLLY SKINNY!!!!
RANDOMS
Number of Regrets in the Past: There is nothing to gain from regret.
What country do you want to Visit: All of them. But especially India, and Spain.
How do you want to Die: By firing squad
Been to the Mall Lately: All the Fucking time...
Do you like Thunderstorms: When I'm alone.
Get along with your Parents: I suppose so.
Health Freak: Never, but I like being in shape.
Do you think your Attractive: Depends on the day and my mood. Not usually.
Believe in Yourself: Yes, actually. I understand the fact that I don't understand myself and with this I know what and how to do things.
Want to go to College: Damn straight. I love education, seriously.
Shower Daily: Yes.
Been in Love: I don't really know.
Do You Sing: No, I'm a real musician. (sorry singers)
Want to get Married: I don't want to feel like that's my only option in life, but I probably will eventually.
Do you want Children: I can't decide, and I won't have to for a while. Hopefully. I kind of hate children right now. We'll have to see how that turns out.
Have your future kids names planned out: Kind of. My friends know the name I think is cool.

Between The Sun And The Earth.

I love traveling.I love the few places I've gone, the people I've met, I love them. I love the weather in other places. I love the culture. I love the total new feeling you get when you step into a new town for the first time knowing you can be whoever you feel like because you're leaving tomorrow anyway.
But after all this, I've found nothing, for me anyway, feels quite as beautiful as the summer nights here at home in New Mexico. Okay, as any resident of southern New Mexico will tell you, the summer days can leave a little bit to be desired, with scorching heat and hazy sun day after day. But the nights are so magical in their own way, the literally dangerous heat is worth it.

At night it cools down, and the air is cool and dry, like the air you get when you fan yourself but everywhere. The lights are warm and low, and there's a feeling of safeness everywhere. Little yellow squares of light come from living room windows as you drive past and the moon and stars are bright and clear. People drive past you but it's almost surrealistic, like my brain is playing it in slow motion, these people with their windows down and the look of detached happiness on their faces, a hand slung out the window as if there wasn't a worry in the world. Two little kids, probably gone to bed by now, have left their bicyles on the front lawn toppled over each other, as if they too were sleeping like their owners, so peaceful. I see an old man outside, waving to me as I go buy as if he knew me personally, and I almost feel like he does because he's waved so many times. A middle aged couple lounges outside, The man sprawled in a plastic chair with a look of peace, and the woman curled up an unmatching wooden one, but she's looking at with such a tightly bonding look everything seems to match.
And that's when I realize I love living here. I don't care if it's a billion degrees and there's no winter. I hate cold weather anyway. I don't care if it rains about four times a year and snows even less. I don't even care about that whole section in city of old retirees who moved here from the East Coast for the weather and complain about everything like they own the place, because I they realized what I've realized...I love it here.