My Revelation: or, "Why Am I So Goddamn Weird All The Time?"

The other day, I realized something I should have realized a long time ago.

I am incredibly out of place, all the time, everywhere, with almost everyone.

I think I have subconciously known this since first grade. My typical first grade interactions usually consisted of me kind of drifting off alone, some nice kid asking me to play with them, me eagerly accepting and then scaring them off. I think it was because I was (1)kind of erratic (2) really weird. (3) And had, as my cousins bluntly put it, a "freakishy large" vocabulary for a six year old. It made me depressed at the time, not having any friends, but looking back on it, I don't really think it was that bad. Sure, I didn't fit in, but did I really want to, that bad? I sure don't now. I mean, why on Earth would any one want to sit around and talk about what a slut so and so is and how dumb this and that is, and don't you just loooove all our cool meaningless babble? I just can't relate to people that spend their lives obsessing over the faults and triumphs of other people.

To Be Continued. When I can figure how to word the rest of my thoughts.